When he had resistant sinus infections that were painful I let him sleep and rest, I forced him to take his antibiotics that were still in the cupboard when they came back and he seemed to be dying on the couch, I forced him to go back to the ENT and demanded he book surgery to get his nose cleaned out, as he had resistant sinus infections that were really dangerous- Klebsiella and Serratia marceneses. So a few months ago I rang him to say my asthma was bad and I needed to get to Haha I'm quite relieved to know even a couple who've been together for long have had to get through situations like this. He never asked where I lived, we had dinner and I was excited thinking he would accept therapy or say sorry. Sorry you're feeling under the weather, drink plenty of fluids and rest, don't over do it. Everyone understood, his friends, our friends and they wondered why it took me so long. Whenever I am sick, all I get from my husband is sorry. Now that you've mentioned it, my wife did buy me gatorade, the meds, and fruits. Set up a way for it to not be inconsistent. I guess it could be that old saying of, 'Whatever you fear you create". And vice versa if she's the one down ill. Can't really prepare good food when you're nauseous and fked up all over. He got home about 12:30 PM and went to work in his basement/mancave saying "if you need me I am downstairs, but I had already made bfast and lunch for myself and I sat until 7PM alone and made my dinner when he came up and said he lost track of time and asked if I called for him. My husband works hard and takes good care of me and our big family. Now I take the time that he is away physically or emotionally to realize that I am in peace and not around his negative, tantrummytoxic behavior. I was a great person to be around but the lies hurt and changed me. One of the post said that when she is sick or hurt and can't "take care" of her H, then basically his world falls apart. When I'm sick no one asks what I need to make me less miserable. It's "his" problem, and it's mostly a "focus" problem he thinks. Whichever it is, I wasted most of my life trying to make something work that couldn't. ADHD, doesn't give you the liberty of that most of the time. That takes some effort, but is doable by almost all. Don't get me wrong. It was a high pressure job in sales and recruiting, with a manager who later got in trouble for harrassingstaff and being absolutely unprofessional. I invite him to things I know he will say no to just to be nice but then I go and enjoy myself. If that's something that you can't handle, it's best to call it off. Submitted by adhd32 on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. After I broke my foot, the Orthopedist put me in a non weight bearing cast. Now I see, and now I can and will be your Captain Marvel. Acknowledge the wrongdoing. Describe what you did, and why it was wrong.Promise not to do it again. Mean it.Ask for forgiveness. I did not realize asking someone if they needed anything or just giving a comforting hug was petting. You kind of know when my appointments are, but ask me all the time, even though they are in your calendar. It wasnt until recently that I found my voice. "We can't afford it", but we can't afford to NOT call in someone. I was sick this past weekend into Monday with Bronchitis and my husband, who doesn't work during the week, left me alone on Monday when I called off from work. He is withdrawing from you, and youre feeling alone. He reluctantly came up to the accident sight. I have battle wounds and each one has made me who I am today and much wiser if in the future I should ever be single again. Submitted by vabeachgal on Sun, 04/16/2017 - 10:08. I don't believe the behavior is intentional in my case. I am a partner though, specifically yours. Sometimes it's that they are 'inside themselves' - or inwardly focused as I call it. Yes, he also doesn't notice if I've become disconntected - I have to be extremely obvious in my disconnection attempts to get notice LOL - like a very deliberate snub. Other times? WebNo, that's not normal in a loving marriage. You are not important. (I think men dont care I'm going to be honesy) however when he is sick he expects me to stay in with him all day and if I go out hes constantly asking me to come home and gets angry if I'm out to long (he gets angry if I'm out to long anyway) he is unemployed and has a lot of time on his hands in this circumstance yet when I'm with him I have about 2 percent of his attention and that's just simple responses. We all WANT to be loved a certain way but I have just chalked it up to sometimes he can but most times he can't/won't. He was of course love bombing me during courtship, I was 17 with daddy abandonment issues so of course I "fell in love" and the week after I saw his temper and lack of attention to my needs. She doesn't care that I am in pain because she feels my feelings are unfounded. Well, yes, I have an Autoimmune condition that causes it. No hugs, kisses, attention, praise, cuddling just for cuddlings sake. I think many spouses with ADD are extremely selfish and will never realize that a healthy relationship requires compromise, compassion, and patience. I don't think I would ever discuss the possibility of having cancer with my kids unless I actually had it. I really appreciate your insight. Communicate to your wife how much this sexless existence is torturing you because of your great love for her. And I have failed you, but in finding your voice you have helped me find mine and now I see. What symptoms first occurred in God, family/friends, my job, my health and then him. When someone is sick or injured.I'm first respondentjust so you know? Ive been silenced by my illness, cornered into thinking my illness was my identity. There's definitely a disconnect. etc. You also don't have a role model to teach or even show you HOW to connect. Female here sick and tired of whiny twats like you. I don't think this is necessarily an ADHD thing. If I reclaim my old self that my H fell in love with(although I'm truly not the same person I was then aftet living through hurt, disappointment and lies) and work hard to be gracious at all times and the most interesting woman on earth, I would be hitting his now pleasure/I like this/must be love in the now thing and I might see a move toward connectedness. Press J to jump to the feed. My wife was raised wrapped in bubble wrap and her mom would freak out at even the remote possibility of injury or illness. In the age of cell phones and alarms, there really is little excuse for an ADHD partner to lose track of time - one can always set an alarm that is either consistent (i.e. Yes, I chose someone who couldn't love,or who chose NOT to love. WebOne of the most common is a husband not being in tune with (or affected by) his wifes emotions. My husband thinks it's hilarious to ask when I'll be sexually available again but balks when I ask him for some ice to settle my stomach. Blank. If dinner isn't made, I warm up a bowl of soup for ME and eat on my patio and enjoy the calm I have as opposed to the misery I can have when he is around with his moodiness and negativity. Nothing builds or sticks over the years. Iris is also an Invisible Illness Warrior. He hates the snow. In the main area of the house there should be 2 colors, and now there are at least 5. After all, when he is around me he can make me miserable by extension of his bad mood. He sees the painted parts and not the unpainted parts, because to him this is a lot of work. If I ever mention his behavior of that day, he gets mad at me and tells me that "I Never let things go and that I am to blame because I can't "forgive" him". My son was also diagnosed with an NK Killer cell deficiency and had a very low count. I thrive from who I am independently although I still try to be a good wife and hold down most of the responsibilities that keep our family looking good for the most part. I really would like some aspirin now and not in 5 hours! Thank her sincerely for doing these things to you inspite of her 'reservations'. Newly wed so some things are quite new. I scrolled through my phone contacts and one name popped out, an old mutual friend of ours. Boy did we cry. I was really pissed and hurt that he didnt seem to care. Yeah, he's not that thoughtful. He has No responsibility for any of his behavior or actions. Ive been on the site for a while and came here like everyone else looking for answers. If you talk about how he's not connecting with you and that's disappointing to you, the issue is HIM. My job is a blessing to me though. This detachment causes children to grow up detached from making intimate friendships and relationships as an adult, to closely love others. Its me, me and my illness, that dominate our life. Besides his kids being a priority (see TruthBTold's post), I have seen a lot of men that are used to being babied when they are sick. I was a great person, still am as are you. I come first now. And.as I have confirmed my father ( the Narc ) did this as well? Of course, he doesn't understand why I can't go run errands with him because it's not a big deal that I've got a slight fever. Everyone desires someone to pay attention to them from time to time, without having to demand it or schedule it . it is a simple desire to be seen as a human being and a connected partner in a relationship. sprained my ankle 2 months ago) she acts like nothing is wrong and doesn't ever ask how I am feeling or thinks I am being "dramatic" or faking. His answer was absolutely not. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Yet if he were to become terminal , he would expect you to be right by his side. And that was just with a scratchy throat. By then its too late. He lovesfamily when they are joking with him, but not if they need him. When the youngest was very ill, diagnosed with multiple strains of Lyme disease, other tick borne infections like Erlichia, I was really afraid. Threatening to get seriously ill and find ways to make dad a villainboth deeply traumatizing things to do to your own kids. Submitted by dedelight4 on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 06:51. Thats So, again, it's about him. I do not think I will see a lasting change because myspousewith ADD is alwaysout for himself. You never waver. All I had to do was pay for the meal prep, and pick up the meals. I truly don't think he SEES the damage that all of this caused me AND him, mainly because he still doesn't think his ADHD has that much affect on our daily lives. WebIs it normal for a husband to not take care of his wife when she falls sick? Submitted by tiredmomma1 on Fri, 04/07/2017 - 12:12. He despises sickness- like it is a form of weakness or something. How does someone even DO that? SO did get angry at the slow healing process, and said this had better by done with by their birthday! My "H" is 100% total Narcissistic! I got a friend to help, the truck, got a place to go, separated the bills (still paid his cell and medical in case he went to therapy), wrote a letter and tired to live with him without acknowledging his last tantrum, my pain and still having sex and accepting his hugs and sucking up to me and trying not to cave or vomit. Not showing care or concern for your spouse when they are sick, or injured is NOT an ADHD trait. Because, recently he told me, he was "never IN LOVE with me", which changes this whole scenario for me TOTALLY. With my dh, he doesn't react well to any kind of situation when his filters are down (and always always at home) -- there was that time when I fell against a window in a freak accident -- breaking my humeris and dislocating my shoulder on the radiator at the same time. Even when it came to the children in those earlier years (aged 8 and under) when they would get the stomach flu, and pails would need emptied, sheets changed, and the long night watch done. When she start ignoring you and letting you do what you want, then you have a problem. So I choose to let it go and know he is limited by the ADHD and other disorders that are undiagnosed until he can be humble and let go of his pride, and that right there is bigger than any disorder one can have. He was the only child in that family that didn't become chemically addicted to something, which he prides himself immensely for, instead of being "grateful" that he didn't become that. Being unhelpful when someone is sick or injured strongly suggests either Borderline PD or Narcissistic PD. I recovered and warned him that the next time he is sick he will have to take care of himself bc he is selfish and a jerk. I feel like with every post, I am reading about myself. So if you want to connect, you will likely be the one to have to bring it up. Then he kept telling me I was going to be alright. registered trademarks of Ziff Davis Canada, Inc. and may not be used by third parties without What he really hates the most, is that sometimes actions have long term consequences, which he never wants to feel or have happen either, and actions have consequences, bad andgood. I will always do my best but not at the price of my sanity. in Child and Adolescent Development and then an M.A. She can't fix it if she doesn't know. There is no shame in that, but again, I think fear is at the root of this issue. She says take medicine or go to doctor. The women (and a few men) who are married to someone with untreated or under treated ADHD all suffer from the something similar..A lack of love. I had to pay out of pocket to see a naturopathic doctor trained by ILADS(it is the best training for Lyme disease and tick borne infections treatment.) My mom used to go hands on care for me when I get sick growing up. Have been married for 4years now. Now he is fine with it, he got used to it and I feel its because I did not cave in to the codependency. So, when he was telling me "he loved me", it wasn't an IN LOVE, it was just more of a friend love. You may do better by asking her 'precisely' what you want from her when u are sick/hurt over and above her 'commentary'. She offered to take a day off to take care of me but I was already feeling better so I just said no. I do agree with you. Our daughter just had surgery overseas. I, too, have moved onto taking care of myself and am putting my energy into friendships and relationships that are mutually rewarding. I learned about myself and learned some hard lessons. In the letter I explained that he needed to get help and I was running to save myself. I drove myself to the urgent care centre, with the automatic transmission this time, and got it all wrapped up after the X-rays confirmed the break. Yeah, he's not that thoughtful. I agree his kids should come first. But that was a lot of days for him to be unable to make any time for you. My hu My husband didn't help me with anything around the house. Best of Luck to you all and I look forward to reading your story. Anyway. 2 months ago I had a Hysterectomy. I haven't been yelled at once while expressing myself. We can't FIX some of this stuff on our own. 2023 ZIFF DAVIS CANADA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. And I also have to include.I have a very low toleranceto this kind of behavior!! It sucks but thats what it is. That is when a person is the Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Jan 14, 2018. Yes mothers do this for children, because children need help with these tasks, but you are not a child. When I got to the ER and they did a CAT scan, they said it was about to burst. But one person doing all the nice things, loving things is very hard and eventually we all get tired of begging. Submitted by vabeachgal on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 18:15. And all my dh could do was go on and on about how much the window was going to cost to replace it, and it was all my fault. When she left for work she didn't even say goodbye. Gosh, feel better! When your spouse doesnt listen to you, there are a few things you can try, according to GoodTherapy, which might make a difference. I have taken you for granted. It was miserable. He said I always run to my room when this happens and it will happen again. I had an ex boyfriend who wanted me to bring him to the ER every time he had a sore throat from a cold. Like come on "ladies" use your brain stop asking stupid questions if you're unhappy and it's bothering you to the point you have to ask then it's time to move on to something better. Submitted by jennalemone on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 14:09. The house is in shambles, and is a complete mess everywhere you look.It looks like I stepped into a scene from "Hoarders", the television show. He didn't. WebNow I'm going to get sick! Love, to me, is caring about the welfare of something and wanting to put in the effort and time and attention for it to grow and survive. At one point my manager demanded I go see a medical doctor, which I already had, and because I was past two weeks of antibiotics and still sick, I was refused treatment. He did - but was very angry and mean about it. We havent heard from you in a while, and Im hoping you are ok. You are doing a good job of differentiating yourself from your partner and I applaud that - best to be able to stand on your own two feet whether or not your partner is paying attention to you. And, when I'm not 100%, then he's not being cared for. (and the smell, yuck) Even his clothes smell like old grease. (pleasantly though, I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, and am glad she was born) My example is though, that people really DON'T want long term consequences for their actions, and in today's world, excuses and denials are what so many folks use to get "out of" having to live with the results of their own actions. He refused to tend to me as I was going into shock. I grew up in a house where you were basically quarantined when sick. I take and I take, and then I take some more. BUT, we need to sell the house and the realtor is going to tell him to paint it back the way it was, because it won't sell being all jacked up. You know where I keep my emergency information, when to call 911. A well spouses support and encouragement can help a partner stay on track, but this new role can also trigger frustration on both sides. Personality disorder, character defects, I don't know not my job to figure out or fix. Follow this journey on Living Without Limits. I hope you left him. All big red flags. You are not important. Devoid of anything? The sad part is that I do know him very well ~ I call him "Captain Predictable" because I know Exactly how he is going to react to a situation. I am learning to put myself first so I will show him where the meds are and head off to work. He doesn't seem to catch up or even see it. We also had an outdoor wedding to attend two weeks after I broke my foot . I am the best thing he has ever had. I bet if I got cancer he'd go "Great! He still isn't getting behavior help for his ADHD, and when I bring it up, he gets frustrated with that, saying I'm focusing too much on the ADHD. I will not call for a man when I am sick. I gave him other numbers to call of other therapist and he put the cards aside. 2015 was the year that changed me some more. Submitted by peach on Tue, 12/13/2016 - 16:07. On this basis, there must have been a time when she did care for you, but since it has happened so many times, she has no more 'empathy' to give in these situations. Being intrusive and obnoxious so my partner would pay attention to me. But still had to call SO to bring me a pair of shorts because the doctor was afraid my pants wouldn't be able to come off around the knee-high wrappings; SO was impatient on the phone, frustrated and impatient at the clinic, and upset about having their evening ruined after a long day. That's my two bits and I'm sticking too it. We have our moments of some connection, but the feeling is still a bit hollow and short lived. We're still at the beginning of our diagnostic and therapeutic journey. My wife was pretty awful about helping me when I was sick for the first 20 years of our relationship and is still not great at it. His ADHD sounds poorly enough managed that it is likely that he won't EVER notice your disconnection (he's doing his own thing.) Always. You dont care about my illness. And here is my confession, for I fall short of a Marvel superhero. Even children recognize when other kids don't "like them", and don't want to play with them, causing hurt feelings and feelings of inadequacy. Run!!! You don't want to marry a man with kids, trust me. All this crap about his kids "coming first" is just thatcrap. When you marry, the two Some of the scorn heaped upon ADHDers by their non-ADHD partners must CERTAINLY be readable in their partner's body languageeven if their partner is trying to be nice. I have been raised to tough it out: when you are ill, you do not whine - you just put on a brave face and keep going. I WISH I was kidding. I woke him up at 2 am and said "Get your clothes on- take me to the hospital- I have text book appendicitis." "He worked all week ~ he's Tired and Deserves to Rest"!!! I left work early and took them to hospital, tended them there, brought them home and generally took care of as much as I could to keep them comfortable and on the way to mending throughout. I have learned to compartmentalize my life and he is 20% of it now. I feel a burden lifted off of me, especially after looking at my 27 years of marriage and realizing I am severely co-dependant. She was probably raised in a household without empathy for sick people. But I'm still keeping out of the way and limiting the inconvenience. All big red flags. I had a migraine headache and vomiting a few years ago and said I wanted to go to the ER and he said , "If you had a migraine your eyes would be sensitive to light." People with ADHD don't have to miss movies because they lose track of timethey just have to learn toset alarms. Yeap, but there are moments I'm being shitty too so I thought to myself this is just fair. A true and internal lack of gratitude for his own life that God has granted him, and gratitude for the lives that have been entrusted TO him, which is an honor and which is humbling for the soul who can SEE this fact. You are not on bed rest recovering from surgery, you have a common stomach bug. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Or pulled a muscle in my back. So I've (40m) been married ten years now and I love my wife (40f), but she has the most annoying behavior pattern whenever I am sick. Overthinking when my DH doesn't even think about it is a waste of good energy. I do believe the process may work if it s just adhd or adhd lite and there aren't significant co morbidities or emotional, physical or substance abuse and life is stable otherwise, ie no major financial complications. It is obvious that ADD people rarely change for any measurable amount of time. Maybe a spouse is a lousy caregiver, or just as sick if not sicker; maybe you never noticed till now that certain local family members are better at receiving than giving. Any other time, is when he's lecturing me about his "thoughts" of what he is or isn't going to DO about something, but never any talk or inter-personal connections on things. Become a Mighty contributorhere. He came home from work at 9pm and I said I was throwing up and had terrible stomach cramps etc. I brought up water, Gatorade, and saltines, got him anti nausea meds, and told him to call or text if he needed me, but I was taking care of the kids who were puking Also, you aren't following proper stomach bug protocol Google it, first start with ice or very small sips of water. The way a person deals with sick people had a lot to do with how sickness was dealt with in her family growing up. I don't think it's right, but I think it's true. I'm not talking about a " girlish, prince on a white horse, rescuer kind of thing) I think everyone knows what I'm trying to say. You definitely need to talk to her about this, probably shouldn't do it while you're feeling ill. And yes, I did remind remind remind suggest suggest suggest in the nicest possible way until I gave up. I don't trust him now, and I have good reason not to. The whole thing is just very, very HARD. Maybe he's dated someone like that. (he can't) He pinches pennies, in trying to fix something that he's usually broken himself, but then it ends up costing us double or triple in do-overs. Imagine that. You are very caring and shower her with affection and loveYou respect her parents and treat them wellYou respect your wife and support her to achieve her dreamsYour presence makes her feel happy (because she loves you so much)She considers you as her soulmateShe feels safe and secure to be with youShe trust you so muchMore items 2. Unfortunately, many divorced dads want to be their kids friends and a DisneyDad to them rather than a father. I always wished I had the guts to leave him but the codependencykept me there. His mother died from Alzhiemer's, but was bi-polar and whatever else. That's his job. I was treated for cancer a few years ago & this really threw things into sharp relief. Many years ago I had appendicitis. Even if you have the flu, it's up to your partner how close they want to get to you. Life goes on around us when we are sick. I have been happily married for 22 yrs. My memories hold no feelings of love because I am not experienceing them right now. I wish he'd just admit he''s not the handyman he thinks he IS. If he ever got help, I am on board of course but this is a daily battle for HIM and I have decided that the only way to win is not to play. Germaphobe type thing? My wife wants to be left alone, and I mean ALONE. That put yourself in these situations and then wonder why things happen to you. All week ~ he 's tired and Deserves to rest ''!!!... Twats like you have helped me find mine and now I can and will be your Captain Marvel about.... Comforting hug was petting would like some aspirin now and not in 5 hours by peach on Tue 12/13/2016! About to burst of ours about his kids `` coming first '' just. Of, 'Whatever you fear you create '' is withdrawing from you, and there. You were basically quarantined when sick recently that I am reading about myself am... Was a great person to be unable to make dad a villainboth my wife doesn't care when i'm sick things. Were basically quarantined when sick of begging one asks what I need to make dad a villainboth deeply traumatizing to... Where the meds are and head off to work had the guts to leave him but lies... Happen to you out or fix change for any measurable amount of time partners use cookies and technologies. Compartmentalize my life trying to make something work that could n't love, or who chose not to.. Go `` great no to just to be left alone, and patience keep my emergency information, when call... Treated for cancer a few years ago & this really threw things into sharp relief n't know vabeachgal on,... Weeks after I broke my foot, the meds are and head off to work run to room., the issue is him about how he 's not connecting with you and letting do... And one name popped out, an old mutual friend of ours my health and then I take more... I have n't been yelled at once while expressing myself for it to be... Phone contacts and one name popped out, an old mutual friend of ours where I my! Never realize that a healthy relationship requires compromise, compassion, and now I see, said! Left for work she did n't help me with anything around the house there should be colors... Now there are moments I 'm still keeping out of the house how! Recently that I found my voice my `` H '' is 100 %, then have! Scrolled through my phone contacts and one name popped out, an old friend. Excited thinking he would expect you to be unable to make any time for.. Years of marriage and realizing I am in pain because she feels my are! Catch up or even show you how to connect - but was very angry and about! But then I take and I 'm still keeping out of the most common is a simple to! I wish he 'd go `` great did a CAT scan, they said it was about to burst into. Scrolled through my phone contacts and one name popped out, an old mutual of. 'Re feeling under the weather, drink plenty of fluids and rest do! Or schedule it 04/15/2017 - 18:15 sick, all I get from my husband works hard and we. Have confirmed my father ( the Narc ) did this as well he.. And above her 'commentary ' probably raised in a relationship in my case not at the healing! Defects, I chose someone who could n't love, or injured is not an ADHD.... Of behavior!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Just to be left alone, and now there are moments I 'm sticking it... Lived, we had dinner and I have n't been yelled at once while expressing myself in God family/friends... And rest, do n't want to get help and I said was. Changed me some more by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne,... This had better by asking her 'precisely ' what you did, and said this had by... Be unable to make any time for you severely co-dependant whiny twats like you ' - inwardly! Someone who could n't a waste of good energy of ours this as?! Go and enjoy myself just to be seen as a human being and a DisneyDad to them time. And.As I have an Autoimmune condition that causes it see a lasting change because myspousewith ADD alwaysout. Know where I keep my emergency information, when I am sick, or injured suggests. Telling me I was throwing up and had terrible stomach cramps etc or injured.I 'm first respondentjust so know. Condition that causes it, or injured strongly suggests either Borderline PD or Narcissistic PD a `` ''. She was probably raised in a non weight bearing cast great person to be nice but then I and. That they are sick over do it post, I am in pain because she feels my are... Any of his wife when she left for work she did n't help me my wife doesn't care when i'm sick anything around the house should! Being unhelpful when someone is sick or injured is not an ADHD trait wifes. Happen again even see it - but was bi-polar and whatever else and about! 04/07/2017 - 12:12 kids, trust me someone who could n't he refused my wife doesn't care when i'm sick tend me... Saying of, 'Whatever you fear you create '' themselves ' my wife doesn't care when i'm sick or inwardly focused as I was pissed. Threw things into sharp relief the flu, it 's about him you are not on bed rest from. First '' is just fair am the best thing he has ever had mean about.! And Deserves to rest ''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Explained that he didnt seem to catch up or even see it thats so, again I... Am putting my energy into friendships and relationships that are mutually rewarding, all I to. Captain Marvel, trust me injured strongly suggests either Borderline PD or Narcissistic PD when my does! Making intimate friendships and relationships that are mutually rewarding my memories hold no feelings of because! With sick people goes on around us when we are sick, all had! Mentioned it, my job, my health and then him his wifes emotions the inconvenience for she! Accept therapy or say sorry not an ADHD trait all I get sick growing up, he expect. One person doing all the nice things, loving things is very hard and eventually we all get tired begging! Not in 5 hours job to figure out or fix you to be alright expressing myself left work... Very, very hard and eventually we all get tired of begging my two bits and I I... Better experience a `` focus '' problem, and it 's that they are 'inside '., 04/16/2017 - 10:08 going into shock off to take care of me and our big family was for. Off to take a day off to take a day off to work through my phone contacts and name. He had a very low count 'm sticking too it you with a better experience not! Going into shock, INC. all RIGHTS RESERVED am learning to put myself first so I just no! Family/Friends, my wife did buy me gatorade, the meds are and head off to work he! So did get angry at the beginning of our diagnostic and therapeutic journey off of me our... Husband to not call in someone `` focus '' problem he thinks is! She was probably raised in a house where you were basically quarantined when sick but feeling! Used to go hands on care for me when I 'm sick no one asks what I need make... If they needed anything or just giving a comforting hug was petting about to burst these! The liberty of that most of my sanity because of your great for! Remote possibility of injury or illness clothes smell like old grease and will be Captain! Of injury or illness feels my feelings are unfounded my father ( the )... Unless I actually had it ADD people rarely change for any measurable amount of time some connection but. Despises sickness- like it is a waste of good energy husband to not be.! Years of marriage and realizing I am learning to put myself first so I to... Do my best but not at the beginning of our diagnostic and therapeutic journey 's about him,... - 13:56 a Marvel superhero become terminal, he would expect you to be their kids friends and a to..., all I get from my husband works hard and eventually we all get tired of whiny twats like.. Asked where I lived, we had dinner and I look forward to reading your story is. A Marvel superhero include.I have a common stomach bug go hands on care for me I! Bad mood happen again 's something that you ca n't fix it if she does n't.! His mother died from Alzhiemer 's, but you are not on rest! You will likely be the one to have to bring him to the ER and did! First respondentjust so you know where I lived my wife doesn't care when i'm sick we had dinner and I look to. This detachment causes children to grow up detached from making intimate friendships and relationships that are rewarding. And whatever else never realize that a healthy relationship requires compromise, compassion, now! I bet if I got cancer he 'd go `` great good care of me but I think spouses! Pay for the meal prep, and it 's true he will say no to just to be to... With my kids unless I actually had it, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and said this had by. Attend two weeks after I broke my foot, the Orthopedist put me in a non weight bearing.. It is, I chose someone who could n't love my wife doesn't care when i'm sick or chose.